Spiritual sex magic dating
But the fact remains that I’m a short, dark-skinned, fat Black girl, with a natural.
I’m all those things in a culture that not only hates fat, and finds it repulsive, but also in a culture where fat dark-skinned women can only find roles in movies as maids.
If you’ve ever wondered why it seems that men are okay with no-strings-attached sex while women tend to suffer with this arrangement, watch this video closely.
It affirms everything that I’ve ever written about sex and gender in a very logical, concrete manner. And if, due to equality, birth-control, libido, societal acceptance, and insecurity, many women are willing to have sex with men who don’t call, pay, commit, or make an effort, then those women are essentially teaching men that they do not have to behave well to procure sex.
They see girls like me as sisters, as homegirls, but not as love options, because they don’t find big girls sexy.
They usually find us I know there is this myth in Black America that brothers like their sisters thick, thick like a luscious milkshake, that “brings all the boys to the yard,” as it were.
So posts like this make folks uncomfortable, often leading to three kinds of reactionary (and unhelpful) comments. Even though we all have insecurities, self-confidence is not my major struggle.
I have thought long and hard about my relationship to food (and exercise), and I have started to make some changes in order to remain healthy.
I also have both short and long term goals for doing so. So please save the condescending lectures (and arm-chair therapy) for someone else.
This big girl (and I suspect every other big girl with access to a TV) doesn’t need it.
It was clear to me that he wasn’t really that interested in a serious thing with any of the girls at the bar that night. But why the cold shoulder, from a brother I’d never met?
Why the unique snub reserved for the one fat girl in the crew?
I’ve interviewed thousands of men in my career as a dating expert and journalist, and I’ve noticed that on every rundown of what it is that men are looking for in a woman, weight inevitably sneaks high on the list, usually in the form of “She works out” or “She stays fit” or “She is concerned about her weight and personal appearance” — i.e., she’s not fat.